I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
