im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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