Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
