Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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