i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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