he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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