Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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