i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
