His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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