I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize