i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
