Sponge bath it is.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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