I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
