I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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