mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
