do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
