his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Omg I joined a choir last night...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
