Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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