you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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