I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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