We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
