I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
