He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize