Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize