I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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