Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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