This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
