It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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