I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i love accidental penises.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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