i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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