Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The air taste purple.
Randomize