She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
