is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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