I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
