are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
