OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
