I heard we made out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize