i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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