so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
