We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
