Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
