drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
