it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
