It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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