On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
