She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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