i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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