hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
