He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
