Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
