I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
