i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
