i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
