Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
