I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
