At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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