Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
