I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
