Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
