I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
