We're facebook friends in real life
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
